When You're Upset

(This is a warning for whoever is reading this, there is quite a bit of cursing in this. Just warning you.)

When I'm upset I tend to feel like everything I do is wrong, and that I'll never be good enough for anything. I insult myself and just put myself down even more instead of trying to make myself feel better. Am I the only one who has this problem? I sometimes think I am. I feel like I'm alone. I really hope someone sees this and sees that they are not alone. 

When I'm upset, I play a little game. I call it the upset game. What I do, is I say all the things I've been saying about myself, and write or type them down. Then, for each other them, I have to write or type three things that I like about myself or how I can fix it.
I'll use my latest upsetness as an example.

I've been talking to this one guy for a while, and he's always been super sweet. Well, he learned about my slacking in school lately, and wasn't very happy. He got really angry at me, and told me I needed to do my work, but that's all. He texted me saying do your work. No actual help. Nothing. Then he called me a lazy ass bitch for leaving school early to have some extra time to do my work, and it hurt me, really bad, and he didn't seem to care. 

I started to tell myself stuff like this.

1. He never cared about you. Who would ever care about you.

2. You just screw up everything don't you. 

3. Maybe if you weren't so stupid this wouldn't have ever happened. 

4. Now you're just gonna eat away all your problems. Wow, you are such a fat ugly bitch. 

5. No wonder no one likes you, you're a bitch. 

But then I stop and think. I think of three things for each one to make me feel better. 

1. He never cared about you. Who would ever care about you. 

- He's not worth it. You're stronger than this. 

- You have lots of people that care about you, and don't think you're a bitch. 

- Don't be so nice, he doesn't deserve it. He's an ass. 

2. You just screw up everything don't you. 

- No, you're just awesome, and not normal. Which is good. 

- Don't think that way, you're perfect just the way you are. 

- He's the one that screwed up. He lost a good friend. 

3. Maybe if you weren't so stupid this wouldn't have ever happened. 

- You're in all advanced classes, and still passing them all. 

- You've got the ambition to learn and go to college. You'll make it in the world. 

- You're smart, you know how to do everything you set your mind to. 

4. Now you're just gonna eat away all your problems. Wow, you are such a fat ugly bitch. 

- You're not fat. You just have a little meat on your bones. Don't listen to all those twigs.

- You're not a bitch, you care. You care about everyone. You're a good person. 

- You're not ugly. You're beautiful and perfect inside and out. It doesn't matter what everyone else says. 

5. No wonder no one likes you, you're a bitch. 

- You have friends and family who care and trust and love you. 

- If no one likes you, why does your best friends miss you? She loves and needs you. 

- You're awesome, they are all just jealous. 

It helps me a lot, and I hope that someone sees this and does it and it helps them. I hate even knowing that there are sad and upset people in the world, when there are people that care. So if you ever need someone to talk to, and you don't have anyone you can trust, you can talk to someone like me. Someone who cares and wants to make everyone in the world feel better with a smile!

Just a little something to tell you all <3 

Love you all, 
~ Anya :)